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Most of the jokes are rubbish but that is funny !!

A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs.
The sign says: 'SEX FROGS' Only $20 each! Comes with 'complete' instructions.
The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter "I'll TAKE one!"
As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her "Just follow the instructions!"
The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is specified:
1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed, place the frog down beside you and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise... NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point.
She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says "If you have any problems or questions... please call the pet store".
So, she calls the pet store. The man says "I'll be right over".
Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says "See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!"
The man... looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says: "LISTEN TO ME!! I'm only going to show you how to do this ONE MORE TIME...

One day a young boy walked into his parents' bedroom and discovered his father sitting on the side of the bed, sliding on a condom. In an attempt to hide his erection and the rubber on it, the father bent over and pretended to be looking for something under the bed.
"What are you doing, Dad?" the boy asked.
"Oh," the father replied, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed."
Surprised, the boy said, "What are you going to do, fuck it?"

MILLENNIALS

I have never felt sorry for a squirrel, until now.