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Have You Any Sherlock Holmes In You???
Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 10:59 am
by AdvenJack
STOP STOP STOP
STOP STOP STOP
STOP STOP STOP
DON'T scroll past the
First photo until
you have examined it, and, can determine
which of the women is the Blonde. Once
you have made your decision, scroll down
to the next photo and see just how fine a
detective you really ARE !!!
Re: Sherlock Holmes
Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 11:05 am
by AdvenJack
AMAZING, the Blonde is the one
with the wrong leg up.
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2017 6:49 pm
by Ravinsomniac
The Florida Everglades are being over run by Burmese Pythons.
However, this young lass found time to pet a tame one.
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2017 7:30 pm
by AdvenJack
Was that picture taken near PBG, FL?
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 9:37 am
by AdvenJack
The following story teaches us to NEVER blindly believe what the "News" outlets report
and, not to Worry about what others might think.
DON'T DO IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A Donkey Story / The Pastor's Ass
A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The beast was so fast that it ran the entire distance
at the head of the pack, 30 yards ahead of the second
place animal.
The Pastor entered the donkey in the NEXT week's race.
The local paper reported:
PASTOR'S KICKIN' ASS - FIRST - WITHOUT QUESTIONS!
The BISHOP became upset. With this kind of publicity he
realized that the PASTOR should not to enter the donkey
in another race and broke the news to him.
The PASTOR understood, and he went to the race track to
withdraw the donkey from the upcoming week's race, ex-
plaining the Bishop's concerns.
The next day, the local paper headline read:
BISHOP HAS PASTOR SCRATCH HIS ASS!
The BISHOP fainted. Once awake again, he ordered the
Pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The pastor mentioned this to some local people, and all of
them offered to take the speedy donkey off the Pastor's
hands. But the Pastor gave the donkey to a Nun living in a
nearby Convent, because her workhorse was on death's door.
The local paper had assigned a reporter to specifically keep
up with this fast donkey's ownership, and posted this head-
line the next day:
NUN HAS MOST SOUGHT AFTER ASS IN TOWN
The BISHOP experienced his first Grand Mal SEIZURE.
He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid
of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the papers read:
FARMER GOT BEST ASS IN TOWN FROM NUN FOR $10
The BISHOP had a stroke. Struggling to speak, he com-
manded that the beast should be repurchased by the nun,
and he sent her $25 to do so. Further, he ordered that she
must lead the donkey to the plains in the wild, and release
it there.
The devoted nun, with money in hand, went to the farmer
and negotiated with him to buy the donkey back, settling
on a price of $15. With the extra $10 the nun joyfully pur-
chased a sandwich for a homeless veteran.
Obediently, the Sister then took the donkey out of town and
released it into the wild plains, to live out the rest of it's days.
Now the press had been following the ownership changes
and whereabouts of this super fast donkey, and the next
day's headline was:
NUN'S WILD ASS BRINGS HER EXTRA CASH AND JOY
The BISHOP DIED. He was buried the next day.
The morals of the story are ...
1- Being WORRIED about others' opinions
WILL bring you much UNNECESSARY STRESS,
SO MUCH SO, that your Health can be impacted,
Even Shortening Your Life...
2- "News" Outlets should NOT be blindly believed.
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 4:21 pm
by AdvenJack
It gave me a good laugh at
Dade City Rod & Gun Club,
though NO JOKE:
https://youtu.be/V4DfewFXmV8
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 6:19 pm
by Ravinsomniac
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 12:55 am
by AdvenJack
Some might say, "A Beautiful Mind"...
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Mon Dec 04, 2017 9:15 pm
by Ravinsomniac
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Tue Dec 05, 2017 6:57 pm
by AdvenJack
FUNNY !!!
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 12:02 pm
by rocketsteve
Do you really want to muck with me or my bike?
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 6:42 pm
by Ravinsomniac
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2017 10:11 pm
by Ravinsomniac
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2017 12:21 am
by Ravinsomniac
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 12:04 am
by AdvenJack
Ya think she's
easy?
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 7:51 pm
by Ravinsomniac
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2017 12:22 pm
by Ravinsomniac
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2018 10:30 am
by V8Bikers
A proud father takes a photo of his son receiving a certificate from his teacher.
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 9:54 pm
by Ravinsomniac
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:53 pm
by Ravinsomniac
Little Johhny
Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 10:52 pm
by Bqmouse
Little Johnny came home. And told his mother “I need a Viagra, I have dirrahea!”
In which his mother replied “ Viagra isn’t used for dirrahea.”
Little Johnny said “yes it is! You tell dad all the time. To go take a Viagra. So, his shit will get hard!”
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2018 4:05 am
by Ravinsomniac
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2018 3:39 am
by Ravinsomniac
I phoned my wife earlier and asked her if she wanted me to pick up Fish and Chips on my way home from work, but she just grunted at me.
I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2018 5:39 am
by Ravinsomniac
Re: A few good jokes
Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2018 7:47 pm
by V8Bikers
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk,
“I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”
“About 32,” is the reply.
“Nope! I’m exactly 50,” the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies,
“I’d guess about 29.”
The woman replies with a big smile,
“Nope, I’m 50.”
Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question. The clerk responds,
“Oh, I’d say 30.”
Again she proudly responds,
“I’m 50, but thank you!”
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old former biker waiting next to her the same question. He replies,
“I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. If you permit me to put my hands under your bra, then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.”
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her.
She finally blurts out,
“What the hell, go ahead.”
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says,
“Okay, okay…How old am I?”
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ” Ma dam, you are 50.”
Stunned and amazed, the woman says,
“That was incredible, how could you tell?”
The old man says,
“Promise you won’t get mad?”
“I promise I won’t,” she says.
“I was behind you in McDonald’s.”